The Importance of Self-love: An Interview with Nicolette

The month of November and all its Singles’ Day hype has left as quickly as it came. Singles’ Day was created by 4 college students who felt that it should be a day Singles treat themselves to gifts and activities they love. It’s basically about self-love and self-pampering. However, we forget to acknowledge that Singles have to deal with a starking contrast of commercial activities between November to December; from being single is a privilege to getting drowned in Christmas love songs. In a study revealed by the Health Assured Organisation in 2019, millenials are twice as likely compared to the elderly to feel lonely during Christmas.

So before we get swept away with all the festivities, let’s revisit the essence of Singles’ Day one last time. Head coach at Fleek Image, Nicolette Fernandez, shares with us her thoughts on self-love and the importance of it.

Nicolette, Head Coach, Fleek

Q1: What is self-love? Is self-love and self-esteem the same thing?
Self-love is the skill of not sacrificing one’s well-being to please others. Self-love and self-esteem are similar, however, differ in the aspect of action. The definition of self-esteem is the evaluation of one’s self-worth, whereas self-love is a combination of feelings and actions one has and does for themselves.

Q2: How can one know if they have ample self-love?
There are multiple factors, however, I believe a key factor is knowing when or how to relax and take care of oneself when necessary. For example with the holiday season just round the corner, people tend to over-commit on social gatherings, neglecting to allocate time for themselves. Always remember – there needs to be balance and consistency with caring and loving oneself. 

Q3: Do you see common dating problems in individuals with little self-love?
Yes, all the time. There is a saying that you need to love yourself before you can love others – I believe that. Because how can you understand the concept of loving someone else, when you don’t even understand the gravity of loving yourself? Often I see that when someone has little to no self-love, it starts to manifest and project outwardly, forming negative or sometimes, no significant feelings towards relationships, not just with dating, but with other aspects of their lives.

Q4: When you notice that a client has little self-love, how do you coach them?
I start with digging in deep to find the sources of these issues. With problems, come root causes. Once we figure them out and understand what’s going on, we start the process of problem solving through different tailored exercises and discussion. A simple exercise people can try is to log their emotions down daily to see if there are any patterns or fluctuations on specific days, events or timings.

Q5: Now that Singles’ Day is over, how can one continue to pamper ourselves?
I love some good retail therapy but I feel it is important to know how to pamper ourselves in different ways. This can come in many forms, from a simple pleasure like making a nice warm cup of tea, to having time to do the things they love over the weekend. And I believe that people can do these things with their loved ones, with social circles (new or old), or simply by themselves!

Singles’ Day is over but the essence of it should be an on-going effort we put into our daily lives. With your 11.11 sales loot all delivered, what are your next plans for self-pampering and self-love?

e essence of it should be an on-going effort we put into our daily lives. With your 11.11 sales loot all delivered, what are your next plans for self-pampering and self-love?

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