Compatibility vs Chemistry: Which Is More Important in Love?

Do you know the difference between compatibility and chemistry?

In love and dating, these two concepts are often confused. People think that if they have chemistry with someone, they’re automatically compatible. But that’s not always the case.

In this article, we’ll break down the difference between compatibility and chemistry, as well as their pros and cons, so you can decide which is more important to you.

What Is Compatibility?

Jigsaw puzzle. Compatibility is like 2 pieces of a jigsaw puzzle fitting together.

In relationships, compatibility is key. What do we mean by compatibility?

Basically, it’s how well you and your partner mesh together. Do you have the same interests? The same values? Are you able to communicate well with each other?

These are all important questions to ask yourself before getting serious with someone. Why? Because if you’re not compatible, you’re going to have a lot of problems down the road.

What Is Chemistry?

Good chemistry causes a spark.

Chemistry is all about that elusive spark—that something that makes you feel alive when you’re around the person. It’s hard to describe, but you just know it when you feel it. You might be compatible with someone on paper, but that doesn’t mean you have chemistry. You only know whether you have chemistry with someone once you spend sufficient time with them.

Compatibility vs Chemistry: Pros and Cons

A weighing scale suggests you need to find the right balance of pros and cons for yourself.



You can quantify compatibility by looking at factors like interests, beliefs, and goals.

Can Lack Natural Passion:
If the couple does not put in effort to maintain romance, the relationship can be monotonous and boring.

A good foundation of compatibility can make a relationship more consistent. This is the basis for a committed relationship.

May Not be Love at First Sight:
The couple will have to grow their love for each other over time.

Meaningful Conversations:
People who are compatible tend to delve into deeper conversations more quickly. Such conversations will also result in a stronger bond.
Lack of Polarity:
Attraction can happen on other levels, but there may be little polarity (attraction of opposites). 



Chemistry can be intense and passionate.

Be Prepared for The Lows:
Chemistry can be a roller coaster ride, with a lot of highs and lows. It will not be very pleasant when the lows hit.

The Spark:
Chemistry can make you feel alive, especially in the beginning.

Chemistry, with the absence of compatibility, can lead to drama and instability.

Can Overcome Odds:
Chemistry can help you be less critical of the other person’s shortcomings as no one is perfect. 
Blind to His/Her True Colours:
Chemistry is a high that can be blinding. It can make it difficult to see the other party for who they really are.

Why Compatibility Is More Important Than Chemistry

So, which is more important in love? Compatibility or chemistry? It’s safe to say that both are important, and you need both of them to have a stable and romantic relationship.

However, if we had to choose one to prioritise when in the dating market, we’d say compatibility is more important than chemistry. Let us explain why.

#1 Reason

Prioritising Compatibility is More Practical

Image of couple art. Compatibility

Compatibility gives you a higher chance for a committed relationship. Sure, if you’re only interested in casual flings now, then prioritising chemistry would be common sense. However, for many people who are interested in a long-term, committed relationship, compatibility is an easy choice.

Compatibility paves the way for a successful relationship via mutual, effective communication, and a natural appreciation for each other that will grow with time. This is not to say that you can’t have a committed relationship with someone you have chemistry with –  it’s just that it’s harder to maintain a relationship with just chemistry alone. Which comes to our second point…

#2 Reason

Prioritising Compatibility is More Sustainable

Image of couple art. Compatibility

If you want to make a long-term relationship work with just chemistry and little compatibility, be prepared to work hard to overcome many obstacles.

When a couple has little compatibility, many arguments and misunderstandings may arise due to the differences in values, beliefs, life goals, or even just the way they speak. This means that in order for the relationship to survive, both parties must be willing and mature enough to resolve arguments amiably and be able to put themselves in each other’s shoes.

If that sounds like too much work for you, then it may be better to look for someone who is more compatible with you. 

#3 Reason

Chemistry is Fleeting 

Image of broken heart. Happens when a spark fades due to fleeting chemistry alone.

Chemistry might fade. Alone, it is all about feelings, and those feelings can change on a dime, especially if and once you find out that the other party is rarely on the same page as you.

But compatibility is based on factors like shared values and goals, which are much more stable and long-lasting as our outlook on life tends to solidify once we reach a certain stage in adulthood.


In dating and love, both compatibility and chemistry are important. The best case scenario is when you find a date or partner whom you are both compatible and have chemistry with.

However, we don’t always get the best case scenario. 

Therefore, in our opinion, compatibility is more important to prioritise if you’re in the dating market. After all, you can’t build a strong relationship on chemistry alone – you need to be compatible too.

-End of Article-

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Love Languages – How to Communicate Your Love Effectively

The 5 Love Languages

What are the 5 Love Languages?

The 5 Love Languages are:
Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Gift Giving, and Physical Touch.

The five love languages are five different ways of expressing and receiving loveNot everyone communicates love in the same way. Similarly, we all have different ways we prefer to receive love. Everyone can learn to appreciate and accept a bit of each love language, but the majority of us tend to lean towards 1 or 2.

*This concept of love languages was developed by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., in his book ‘The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts’.

Why is it Important to Know This?

Two people who have different love languages will need to find ways to communicate their love for each other effectively.

Understanding the 5 love languages will improve our relationships IF we apply the information in a fruitful way. By knowing the 5 love languages and how to express each of them, you can:

  1. Communicate your needs clearly
  2. Learn to compromise if you and your partner have different love languages
  3. Adjust the way you show your love so your partner responds in a positive way

Breakdown of the 5 Love Languages

Let’s go in depth on the 5 love languages and share the DOs and DON’Ts of each love language.

1) Words of Affirmation

Words mean a lot if your partner has this love language.

If your love language is Words of Affirmation...
You should say, "Thanks for taking the garbage out. Love you!". 
You should not say, "It's about time you took the garbage out. The flies were going to carry it out for you."
Compliment them oftenSpeaking in a harsh tone 
Make them feel appreciated even for the smallest thingsUsing insults, trash talk and criticism
Use positive language to build up the other personPutting your partner down in front of other people

2) Acts of Service

Your partner might have this love language if their motto is “Actions speak louder than words”.

Examples of the love language, Acts of Service, would be washing the dishes and giving your partner a massage.
❤️DOs 💔DON’Ts
Show that you are more than glad to help them outActing burdened or grumbling while helping
Take initiativeLeaving most of the chores to them
Carry out such acts with a smileNot following through your promise of helping them 

3) Gift Giving

This love language isn’t necessarily materialistic. It just means that a meaningful or thoughtful gift makes your partner feel loved and appreciated.

Examples of the love language, Gift Giving, would be writing a note or card, or giving your partner a present.
❤️DOs 💔DON’Ts
Gift sentimental gifts (ie something handmade)Forgetting to bring even a small gift on special occasions
Take note of your partner’s interests and gift something according to thatGiving thoughtless gifts
Wrap up gifts nicely and even write a card to go along with itNot listening to requests, suggestions or “hints”

4) Physical Touch

To people with this love language, nothing is more impactful than the physical touch of their partner.

Examples of the love language, physical touch, would be hugging or holding hands.
❤️DOs 💔DON’Ts
Give regular hugs and kissesBeing physically abusive
(You should never do this no matter what!)
Initiate physical contact
(ie holding hands)
Neglecting your partner or being physically cold
Stay close to them physically on datesRejecting them when they initiate physical contact

5) Quality Time

If this is your partner’s primary language, they don’t just want to be included during this period of time, they want to be the center of your attention.
Examples of the love language, quality time, would be spending time together at a table, chatting and drinking. You can also talk to each other on the phone late at night if you're too busy to meet up.
❤️DOs 💔DON’Ts
Stay present with your partner Not listening when they speak
Show that you are actively listening to them with your eye contact and body language Being distracted when you are doing something together, such as using your phone
Respond when they tell you somethingNot making time regularly to meet up with them

-End of Article-

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